


You Know The Drill

by velociraptor44



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: M/M, bujeet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 02:36:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5989153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velociraptor44/pseuds/velociraptor44
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buford finally plans a Valentine's Day dinner with his secretive boyfriend, but things go array when Phineas asks Baljeet to help him out with his newest invention. If only he had let the nerd finish his homework so he wouldn't have miscalculated their trajectory...</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Know The Drill

It was a crisp, mid-winter day in Danville. Baljeet sat in his room huddled up in a blanket while finishing up his homework for the weekend, rushing it a little bit more than usual. He wrapped his hands tightly around a hot cup of tea and brought the liquid to his mouth, sipping it slowly to ensure he felt the warming effects of it run through his body. As he was about to finish up the last of his algebra, he felt large, muscular arms wrap around his waist. Baljeet rolled his eyes, knowing already who it was.

  
“Buford, you are early?” Baljeet questioned, spinning around to see the dark haired boy close to his face. Buford scoffed at the Indian boy’s response.

  
“You know us Van Stomm’s are always on time.” He declared in his raspy voice that Baljeet had grown to appreciate over the years.

  
“Yes, on time I understand, but early I do not. I am not finished yet, as you can see.” Baljeet explained, displaying the blank page to his clandestine boyfriend.

  
“Ah, you’ll find time to do it later. It’s Valentine’s Day and I wanna take my nerd out somewhere special.” Buford whispered as softly as his harsh voice allowed in Baljeet’s ear.

Baljeet tried to hold back his smile but was unable to.

  
“Is Valentine’s Day not a little cliché for you?” Baljeet questioned, wondering why he gave in to such a mushy cultural norm.

  
“Yea, maybe it is, but you ain’t gonna tell no, one, got it?” Buford said in an intimidating voice that barely had any effect on Baljeet any longer.

  
“My lips are sealed.” Baljeet told him with a smirk, still amused by the fact that he had something to blackmail him with now if he ever chose to. Buford rolled his dark blue eyes at his boyfriend’s smirk and gave him a hard kiss, forcing the raven-haired boy to feel a rush of hormones he didn’t need to finish his homework. His studies recoiled farther and farther back into his mind until he almost forgot about his original intention. He unwillingly pulled himself away from Buford’s captivating tongue and lip skills to revert to his studious self.

  
“Buford, I am being serious. Please let me finish.” He repeated with a little less urgency than the time before. Buford ignored the raven haired boy’s comment and brought his lips back to his neck, kissing him softly up and down. Buford could hear Baljeet’s breathing become more uneven as he went along, nipping his caramel skin occasionally with his teeth, forcing out quiet breathy sighs from the studious boy. After a dose of Buford’s teasing, Baljeet finally submitted to the giant, planting a passionate kiss on his thick lips.

  
“If I do not get into Princeton because of you, I swear.” Baljeet scolded him, getting up and making his way to his closet.

  
“Don’t worry nerd; I won’t do this too often. I know how much that school shit means to you.” Buford assured, sitting on his bed and waiting for him to pick out an outfit to wear. Baljeet pulled out a navy blue suit and a burgundy tie and held it in front of his frame.

  
“Will this do?” He asked his frenemy. Buford raised his eyebrows and nodded,

  
“Yea, it’ll look sexy as fuck on you.” Buford replied, his response making Baljeet’s caramel cheeks turn red.

  
“Lower your voice; what if my parents hear you talking like that?” Baljeet warned as he began to remove his clothes quickly.

  
“They’ll find out sooner or later.” Buford dismissed, admiring his nearly naked boyfriend. “Especially when I grab your face and start making out with you right in front of ‘em.” Buford joked.

  
“Buford!” Baljeet squealed in his still higher than usual voice. “If you ever did anything like that, my parents would send me on a one way plane to India and you would never see me again.” He continued in a worried manner.

  
“Don’t worry; I’d neva do anythin’ to risk losing you. I won’t say nothin’ til you’re ready.” Buford reassured, standing up and helping his boyfriend with his tie and collar.

  
“Thank you.” Baljeet said quietly, “But Buford, I do have one question. Do you not think we will be seen? Everyone in this town will be out for Valentine’s Day dinner; I do not know how you plan to keep us a secret still after this.” Baljeet went on nervously, sitting on the edge of his perfectly made bed. Buford swayed a dismissive hand his way,  
“Psshh, no one’ll see us. Think of how big this city is; what’re the odds that someone we know’ll be at the same restaurant as us?” Buford assured, standing over his boyfriend and clasping his small hands.

  
“If you would like me to do the calculations, I will be happy to.” Baljeet quipped. Buford rolled his eyes.

  
“Should have expected somethin’ like that from a nerd like you.” Buford joked playfully. “But in all seriousness, leave the calculator behind, Baljeet. Tonight it’s just you and me and nothin’ else matters.”

  
Baljeet couldn’t help but let out a smile, tightening his grip on their intertwined hands.

  
“Well, shall we be off?” Baljeet questioned, getting up and presenting his arm to Buford. Buford accepted his skinny arm with pleasure, taking it and using it to bring him close to his body.

  
“We shall.” Buford mocked in return. The two left Baljeet’s bedroom and headed down the stairs, Buford releasing his arm before they got to the bottom to avoid suspicion. After slipping on their shoes and preparing for a quick exit, they heard a woman’s voice call to them from the kitchen.

  
“Baljeet, where are you going?” The voice of his accented mother called.

  
“We are going to Phineas’s to finish our science fair project. I am helping him with some calculations.” Baljeet lied convincingly, winking in Buford’s direction.

  
“Is that so? But why are you all dressed up?” His mother asked, peeping her head out from the kitchen.

  
“I am not sure. Phineas just told everyone to come over in their best clothes. Maybe he plans on taking our picture for the science fair entry.” Baljeet suggested. His mother turned her head in Buford’s direction.

  
“I do not think Buford is in the science fair. Why does he need to dress up?” Baljeet’s mother inquired suspiciously. Buford let out a crooked half smile at his mother, trying to think up a quick lie to feed her.

  
“I, uh, I am in the science fair actually.” Buford said uncertainly, scratching the back of his neck.

  
“You are?” Baljeet’s mother called out in disbelief.

  
“You are?” Baljeet repeated with gritted teeth.

  
“Uh, yeah, I am.” Buford went on.

  
“Well Buford, tell me, what are you making for it this year?” The Indian mother questioned slyly.

  
“To be honest Mrs. Tjinder, I don’t really know ‘cause I haven’t started yet.” Buford offered with a toothy smile. Baljeet’s mother rolled her eyes.

  
“That I believe. Have fun you two.” She wished them with a smile, shaking her head.

  
“Thank you. Have a nice night!” Buford shot back, Baljeet closing the door quickly behind him.

  
“You almost blew our cover, Buford.” Baljeet cautioned, walking briskly beside him on their way to Buford’s house to get the car.

  
“Yeah, but I didn’t, did I?” He assured, giving the smaller boy a noggie. “I’m pretty good at lyin’ since we do it so much; you got nothin’ to worry about.”

  
Baljeet laughed lightly at his statement, “That is true; we have become quite the liars. Although, I am not sure how proud I am of that…” Baljeet went on. Buford gave him a dismissive hand gesture.

  
“Don’t sweat it. Plus, we don’t got another choice anyways if you wanna keep us all secretive and shit.” Buford expanded as they neared his home. The two began to walk up the driveway when they heard noises from behind them. The boys turned around to see Irving running up the driveway in a panic, screaming Buford’s name.

  
“Oh god, what do you want?” Buford called to the ginger. Irving came up in front of them and put his hands on his knees, catching his breath.

  
“Albert….stuck….costume.” He told the boys, out of breath.

  
“Irving, can you please articulate in proper English?” Baljeet asked in a slightly annoyed voice, his arms crossed over his chest.

  
“Yeah, English is my first language and even I got no idea what you’re talking about.” Buford continued. Baljeet rolled his eyes at his grammar.

  
“I “have” no idea, not I “got” no idea. I think I have told you that over one hundred times.” The Indian boy repeated. Buford didn’t get a chance to reply before Irving spoke up after catching his breath.

  
“What I was trying to say was that my brother Albert got himself stuck in a costume he made for the next comi-con he’s going to, and I was kind of hoping you’d be able to get him out of it…” Irving questioned uncertainly, giving the large boy a nervous smile.

  
Buford rolled his dark blue eyes and let out a long sigh, “Where’s the geek?” He questioned, refraining from referring to him as “nerd” because he deemed Baljeet the only one worthy to obtain that title. Irving practically leapt with joy after hearing the response, quickly pointing the boys in the direction they had to go. Baljeet pulled Buford behind Irving and whispered into his ear.

  
“I do not understand; you were in such a hurry to leave for the restaurant and now you are taking time out to help Albert of all people?” Baljeet inquired. “I thought you very much disliked that family.”

  
“I don’t like ‘em, but you gotta do favours for people like Irving once in a while. He’s got all the hook-ups to the best technologically stuff, and you never know when that’ll come in handy.” Buford explained.

  
“I should have known that you would not just do a favour for the sake of being nice.” Baljeet teased, pinching Buford’s side discreetly.

  
“Ay, I can be nice to certain people when I wanna; you of all people should know that.” Buford corrected Baljeet, sending a sincere closed mouth smile his way. The two finally approached Irving’s backyard and went in through the gate to see quite a scene.

  
“How in the world did this happen?” Baljeet questioned, approaching a giant moving cardboard box decorated with tin foil, metal, and various other around-the-house supplies. Albert popped his head out of a little hole near the bottom and gave an uneasy smile.

  
“You don’t wanna know.” Albert told the boys, retreating his head into the hole. Buford went up to the box and shrugged his shoulders.

  
“I don’t get what the problem is. You just gotta cut it open with some big ass scissors; even you could do that, Irving.” Buford explained nonchalantly. Immediately after Buford conclusion, Albert stuck his head back out and began to shake it vigorously.

  
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no! I spent way too long on this to let it get destroyed! Just grab my legs and pull me out. I’ll hold onto a tree or something.” Albert resolved. Buford rolled his eyes and mumbled under his breath,

  
“Fuckin’ geeks.”

  
Buford picked up Albert inside the box easily and brought him over to their closest tree. “Grab it.” He instructed impatiently. Albert brought his hands through the two arm holes and grabbed onto the trunk tightly. Buford backed up, holding the box with Albert inside, and pulled hard until Albert’s ugly box popped off, still intact.

  
“There. We gotta go now.” Buford concluded, picking up Baljeet like he was a football that he carried at the side of his body.

  
“Wow! Thanks Buford! I owe you one!” Irving called out from the backyard, the boys already heading out the gate.

  
“Yeah, you do.” He finished, slamming the gate behind them. Buford walked quickly back to his house, Baljeet dangling in his arms. Once they reached the home, he put him down gently onto the driveway and fixed his suit.

  
“I thought I told you I did not want to be carried anymore.” Baljeet reminded him, tightening his tie.

  
“Well, I was in a carryin’ mood.” Buford explained, “And I didn’t hear too much complainin’ the whole way back here.” He continued, raising his eyebrow at his boyfriend. Baljeet let out a tiny smile, remembering how he always did it to him as a kid and how even then he was not completely opposed to it. He couldn’t deny that he enjoyed being held by him in public, even if it was like a football.

  
“Well, shall we be off now? It is already seven.” Baljeet reminded him, checking his expensive looking watch he got from one of his rich Indian relatives as a gift a few years back.

  
“Yeah.” Buford responded, opening up the passenger’s side door for Baljeet. Just as Buford went over to his side and was about to climb in, the boys hear a call from behind them.

  
“Baljeet!” A distinct voice called out. Baljeet looked out the window to see Phineas and Isabella walking quickly towards Buford’s car. “Thank god I caught you in time- looks like you guys were just about to leave.” Phineas continued, approaching the window. Baljeet and Buford reluctantly got out of the car and stood in the driveway, wondering what Phineas was so desperate for.

  
“I don’t know what the fuck you want, but make it fast Phineas.” Buford said in a stern voice, crossing his arms over his chest. Isabella raised a curious eyebrow at the two boys while Phineas stood there oblivious to the fact that they were both in suits about to depart together on Valentine’s Day of all days.

  
“Oh no, it won’t be long at all. We just need Baljeet to make some final calculations for us for our new invention.” Phineas explained hopefully. Baljeet let out a quick sigh after looking at his watch.

  
“Well, if it will only take a second…” The Indian boy dragged on.

  
“Great! Thanks Baljeet.” Phineas chirped happily, placing a hand on Baljeet’s shoulder.

  
“What’d you guys make this time?” Buford wondered, the four of them walking swiftly in the direction of Phineas’s house.

  
“Well, it’s Valentine’s Day, so where better to celebrate a day of love than in the city of love?” Phineas elaborated. Buford rolled his eyes.

  
“You guys have already been to Paris.” Buford piped up, giving his two cents.

  
“That’s true, but we’ve never got there by drilling through the mantle.” The red head corrected, grasping his girlfriend’s hand tightly.

  
“So you are proposing that you have made a giant drill that you will use to carve through the many layers of the earth and pop out the other end in France?” Baljeet asked almost rhetorically.

  
“Yes, yes we are.” He finished as the approached the gate to the backyard. Phineas pushed the door open to reveal Ferb leaning against the tree with his girlfriend Vanessa Doofenshmirtz draped over his shoulder in her typical all black attire, and the shell of a giant drill in the works.

  
“You weren’t kidding.” Buford added, observing the creation. Phineas and Ferb didn’t tend to make as many inventions as they had in the past due to having to balance school and their jobs, clubs and activities, but they still managed to crank out inventions that were never substandard whenever they needed to. Baljeet walked around the drill quickly, trying to speed up the process.

  
“Alright Phineas, what is it you need?” He questioned. Baljeet always did favours for Phineas whenever he needed them, but it was not out of obligation like Buford occasionally does for Irving and people of that sort, but it was because of a mutual agreement they both had. They always worked on projects together and helped each other out with homework and club activities, so it was only fair. Not to mention the fact that since he and Buford were not known to be a couple yet that they couldn’t really make up an excuse for wanting to go out together on Valentine’s Day…

  
“It won’t take long. I just needed your hand with some calculations. Here, I’ll show you.” The red head proposed, leading Baljeet over to his drafting table and leaving Buford to mingle with the other three people in the yard. Buford kicked a stone back and forth to pass time, but eventually he felt the need to at least try to interact with them.

  
“So… did you guys know about the Valentine’s drill surprise shit?” Buford wondered, leaning against the fence. Isabella was the first to pipe up.

  
“No, not a thing actually. Phineas was pretty good at keeping it a secret until today.” The ebony haired girl said dreamily, “God, I’m so lucky. I can’t believe he remembered how much I loved Paris and was willing to build a drill to go to the other side of the world just for a date!” She went on, getting lost in her train of thought.

  
“Hey, Phineas wasn’t the only one who came up with the idea. Ferb remembered how much I loved it too.” Vanessa added, pulling Ferb’s face close and giving him a hard kiss on the lips. Once they released their lips, Ferb gave her a sly smile.

  
“Speaking of that, I better go help out my brother. It’s not going to build itself.” Ferb elaborated, giving her a small peck on the cheek before departing. With only the girls left to talk to, Buford decided to stop trying to interact and instead pulled out his phone and pretended to be busy with that. Baljeet came over and joined him a few minutes later, Buford feeling relieved and thinking they could be on their way now.

  
“You figure it out, nerd?” Buford asked his boyfriend with a broad smile. Baljeet gave him an uncertain cock of the head.

  
“I hope so. I am not entirely comfortable with the type of math he asked me to do. Funnily enough, it was based on the homework I was about to start before you showed up in my room.” He told Buford, lowering his voice at the last part. “But I am nonetheless fairly confident in my abilities.” He added in conclusion. Buford ruffled his hand through his curly black hair affectionately.

  
“That’s what I like to hear.” Buford cooed to him, taking his hand away from his head once he saw Isabella glance over and raise an eyebrow his way. Baljeet brought his mouth to Buford’s ear to whisper something discreetly.

  
“Buford, you know that by taking your hand away you look more suspicious. Try not to act any different than you did before we started dating.”  
Buford nodded at the statement, and then turned his attention to the commotion behind him.

  
“Voila!” Phineas called out for the whole yard to hear, making everyone turn their heads. The drill was covered by a giant tarp to build the suspense. Phineas took an oily cloth and wiped his forehead, leaving a black stain there as though he was a mechanic who just finished working on a car. Once he saw that he had everyone’s attention, he grabbed hold of a corner of the tarp.

  
“Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you yet another method of transportation that will get us wherever we want anywhere in the world at light fast speeds.” He yelled confidently. “Prepare to be amazed, and try not to think about its resemblance to the drill seen at the end of The Incredibles.” He added quickly, yanking the tarp off to reveal pretty much what everyone expected to see.

  
“Huh, it does look like the drill at the end of The Incredibles.” Isabella commented.

  
“Yes, indeed it does.” Baljeet added, everyone’s heads nodding in agreement. Phineas and Ferb looked at each other and nodded as though to signal that they were ready.  
“Ferb, isn’t it funny that if this was a few years back before Candace left for law school that she’d come out here by this point and threaten to bust us?” Phineas laughed in reminiscence. Ferb let out a small smile and nodded in agreeance.

  
“Do you think Candace would still try to “bust” you guys even though she’s a lot older now?” Isabella inquired, walking up to Phineas’s side and wrapping her hands around his arm.

  
“Old habits die hard.” Ferb reminded her.

  
“Ya, and you guys would have asked about where Perry is by now too.” Vanessa chimed in in her sultry voice, approaching her boyfriend.

  
“Huh, that is a good question though. Where is Perry?” Phineas asked aloud, looking around the yard.

  
“Never mind that, he’ll show up later. There isn’t too much time left of Valentine’s Day, and with the time change in Paris it’s even later.” Isabella reminded Phineas.

  
“Right, of course. Ok guys, get in.” Phineas instructed, opening the hatch at the top of the drill. “Baljeet, Buford, do you guys wanna take a quick peek inside before we leave?”

  
Buford and Baljeet looked at each other and shrugged, “I guess a quick peek will not hurt.” Baljeet decided. The two made their way inside the crowded compartment and took a seat along the outside. The interior was dark purple and completely windowless with some overhead compartments and a padded area around the perimeter, presumably to make the journey through the earth’s core more comfortable.

  
“Quite impressive.” Baljeet praised as he observed the compartment.

  
“Thanks.” Phineas piped up. “If you look here, this is the control panel with the map, you know, so we can see where we’re going as we tear through the layers of the earth.”

Phineas added, pointing to the electronics at the front. “We’ll burrow ourselves just deep enough into the ground, and then using the predetermined slope calculations you provided, we can launch ourselves on a direct path towards Paris. We should end up in a park right next to the Eiffel Tower…if all goes as planned.” Phineas said with a slightly uncertain smile to Baljeet.

  
“Well, I hope it works out nicely for you all. We will let you guys be now. Come on Buford, let’s go.” Baljeet declared, tapping Buford’s shoulder.

  
“This is the button to open the hatch, right?” Buford asked after pressing down on a large lime green button. The machine began to tremble and the control panel lit up.

  
“Um…not exactly.” Phineas answered.

  
“That is the button that starts the machine, isn’t it?” Baljeet asked Ferb with half-lidded eyes of disappointment. Ferb gave a slow nod. “Of course it is.” He concluded.

  
“Everyone, put on your seatbelts! We may feel some turbulence.” Phineas called out, his voice echoing off the walls of the enclosed area.

  
“When will we feel the turbulence?” Vanessa wondered, buckling herself in.

  
“Pretty much the whole ride.” Phineas affirmed. Immediately after he said that, the drill began to burrow itself deep into the ground, the machine rattling back and forth the whole way down. After a quick few seconds, the invention stopped abruptly and everyone jolted forward.

  
“Well, that wasn’t so bad.” Isabella chirped optimistically, coming up to the control panel to stand near Phineas.

  
“Oh, we’re not there yet; that was just our dissension. Now here comes the launch.” Phineas said tensely, “You better sit down. Once it positions itself, it can blast off at any time.” He told everyone. Isabella returned to her seat and buckled in. Baljeet had his hands crossed over his chest and still hadn’t looked at Buford since his mistake, but it was hard not considering he was seated right beside him in the crammed quarters.

  
“Hey, I’m really sorry Jeet.” Buford whispered in a heartfelt way into his ear so no one else could see. “I really fucked up this time. I was just tryna to get us out.”

  
Baljeet glanced at him with a closed mouth smile, “It is fine. I know what your intensions were.” He cooed, placing a hand on his thigh. “Plus, if you speak to me in French once we get there, that will make up for all this.” He flirted, raising an eyebrow at the Dutch boy.

  
“You got yourself a deal, mon trésor.” Buford added in his flawless French accent.

  
“God! This is like waiting for the dealer to get there.” Vanessa shouted, her legs crossed over each other. Isabella gave her a disappointed stare.

  
“I was going to say it was like waiting for a microwave to beep, but that works too I guess.” She declared sassily. A few tense seconds later, and they were off. The whole cabin went into a chorus of Ahhhhhhhh! Holy shit! Oh my god! All in a simultaneous fashion, none of them able to keep their skin on their faces. Once some time had passed, the drill came to a dramatic halt, flinging everyone against the walls.

  
“Now we’re here.” Phineas declared, trying to fix what he could of his badly ruffled hair.

  
“Well, it’ll all be worth it one we step out and see the Tour Eiffel. Ah Phineas, it’ll be just like when we were nine, except this time you’ll actually notice me.” Isabella stated, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend. Phineas blushed a dark shade of pink and returned the hug, which caused Vanessa to grab Ferb from behind and pull him back to her seat, kissing his neck softly once he was positioned on her lap in front of him.

  
“Alright, so let’s meet back at the drill in…four hours. Does that give everyone enough time?” Phineas questioned, getting approving nods all around. “Good. Ferb, can you help me with the hatch? Buford, it’s the red button by the way.” Phineas added.

  
“The one time a button that’s not red causes the problems. The one time!” Buford shouted dramatically. A few moments later, the hatch popped off and a warm breeze filled the interior.

  
“Huh, Paris seems warmer than I remember.” Phineas noted, popping his head out. Seconds later, he lowered himself back in with an uneasy grin slapped across his freckled face.

  
“Baljeet, are you sure you did those calculations right?” Phineas inquired. Upon hearing those words, Baljeet felt a lump form in his throat.

  
“Well… I am 99% sure…” He admitted nervously. “Why do you ask?”

  
Phineas made a gulping sound and then gestured to the exterior. “I think you guys better have a look.” Immediately, everyone rose in a state of panic and flocked to the opening. When they all got there, they saw why Phineas made such a strange expression. They weren’t in Paris, in fact, they were probably not even in the same continent.

  
“Phineas, where the fuck are we?” Buford screamed. “All that I can see for miles is sand. Fucking sand.” He continued. Everyone exited the drill, except for Phineas and Baljeet who retreated to the computer screen.

  
“Well, the trajectory we were aiming for was here,” Phineas indicated on the map, “But our actual location is here…” He stated, pointing somewhere in the middle of the desert in Northern African.

  
“Oh my god…” Baljeet exclaimed, cupping his face in his hands. “Phineas, I am so sorry! If it were any other type of math I would be 100% confident with it, but what you asked me to do was something I was working on for my MCAT admissions test that I had not quite perfected…” He went on, his voice even higher pitched than usual because of the embarrassment.

  
Phineas placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, “It’s ok Baljeet; I asked for too much. Don’t worry, I’m sure Ferb and I can figure something out.” He piped up optimistically.

“Ferb! Get in here; we’re gonna figure out a way to get home!” He called to his brother. “You can wait outside with the others while we try to work something out.”

  
With that, Baljeet left with his head hung low. When he stepped outside, he felt a wave of warmth wash over him that was almost comforting, as though he were back in India.

  
“How hard did you fuck up?” Buford asked Baljeet jokingly, not knowing how much that statement stung.

  
“A lot.” Baljeet admitted, sitting down with the others on the yellow desert sand in defeat. The four of them stared out into the distance, watching the sun sink lower and lower over the dunes.

  
“Baljeet, no one’s blaming you.” Isabella comforted, giving him a small grin.

  
“I am. This is bullshit; we were supposed to be in Paris by now.” Vanessa whined, tying her hair up into a bun. “I’m sure my dad could have found us a faster way to get there that wouldn’t have led us to the middle of god knows where.”

  
Baljeet narrowed his chocolate eyes at the brunette and scoffed, “I would like to see you try to do those calculations I was asked to figure out.” He called out. “I will have you know, what was asked of me to do is years beyond anything you or your dad could ever understand.”  
Vanessa shifted her gaze to the normally reposed Indian boy and raised an eyebrow, “My dad’s a fucking genius; he could do math ten times harder than you could ever figure out.”  
Baljeet let out a harsh laugh, “Oh yes, I am so sure he could.” He began. “Maybe if you pulled your head out of your electra complex filled ass you could do something to help instead of just ridicule me for fucking up something I did not even want to be a part of in the first place!” He yelled, his caramel cheeks turning red with anger. Vanessa stood up at the challenge and began to walk over to the scrawny boy but was blocked by Buford.

  
“Don’t lay a hand on my nerd.” Buford threatened gruffly. Vanessa rolled her eyes before returning to her spot on the far side of Isabella, everyone noticeably shaken by the conflict. Everyone sat silently in their places for quite some time, awaiting anything Phineas and Ferb had to say to break the silence and hopefully get them all home. Buford and Baljeet kept looking over at each other with disappointed looks. This was going to be the one day that they could have tried to celebrate a normal holiday together as a couple along with everyone else. This was the one time Buford actually successfully made a reservation at a restaurant. All they wanted was a night together to celebrate them, but it didn’t look like tonight was going to be that night.

  
Phineas and Ferb finally popped out of the compartment, faces dripping with sweat from being crammed inside such a small and humid space for so long.

  
“So we have some good news and some bad news.” Phineas chimed.

  
“Bad news first.” Vanessa sighed, lying back on the sand. Phineas nodded.

  
“Ok, well…the drill may not be able to get us to where we want to go.” Phineas let out. Everyone raised their eyebrows in astonishment.

  
“Meaning Paris?” Isabella questioned, running to her boyfriend’s side.

  
“Meaning anywhere. It overheated here in the desert and we can’t seem to get it running again.” He told his friend group honestly. Everyone’s heart stopped for a moment.

"You mean to tell me that a machine that can go through the earth's mantle overheated in the Sahara?" Baljeet wondered.

 

"Yeah, funny how that works, isn't it?" Phineas laughed nervously.

  
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. What’s the good news then?” Vanessa inquired, already 100% done with anything Phineas had to say.

  
“Ferb and I are always prepared to handle emergencies, so we do have some supplies we can use until we can figure out a way to contact someone to get us out of here.”

Phineas added with a smile, hoping to cheer up everyone else. Isabella reciprocated the smile, as did Buford and Baljeet once Baljeet felt Buford subtly grab and squeeze his hand. Vanessa simply scoffed and walked away. Ferb gave an uneasy expression as he started to follow his girlfriend.

  
“Don’t mind her. She’s trying to quit smoking and it’s proving to be quite difficult.” Ferb defended, starting to jog over to the emotional brunette. Isabella tightened her grip around Phineas’s arm.

  
“So what supplies are we talking about exactly?” She piped up. Phineas’s eyes lit up at his girlfriend’s shared optimism.

  
“Well, one thing that’ll be pretty useful is something Ferb and I made a couple years ago that we brought along just in case.” Phineas announced, pulling out a teardrop shaped device from his pocket. “It’s a device that converts sand into water.” Everyone nodded at the usefulness of the invention.

  
“Convenient.” Baljeet quipped, observing the contraption.

  
“Right?” Phineas agreed, glad that his friends were taking the situation so well. The four of them played around with the invention for a little while, making the best of the situation. When Ferb and Vanessa finally returned, the tear dropped invention even put the Doofenshmirtz girl in a better mood, at least for a little while. Eventually, the couples got up to separate and look for signs of civilisation, each of them given super high tech walkie talkies, a flashlight, a compass, and a tracking device to show where everyone else was. Buford and Baljeet saw no problem with Phineas’s decision to let them walk together, in fact, it turned out to be the perfect situation. The two had ample time to talk, laugh, and do all the hand holding, pinching, and flirting they wanted without fear of anyone suspecting anything.

  
“Buford, I am actually glad this happened. Sure we lost our Valentine’s Day plans, but I got to spend a whole evening with you, and that is all I really wanted.” Baljeet confessed, his cheeks becoming flushed. Buford stopped his boyfriend in his tracks and brought his face up to his for a long, slow kiss.

  
“That’s all I really wanted too. Valentine’s Day is stupid anyway; who needs a specific day to tell you how much you mean to me?” He concluded, pulling his lover close to his body.

  
“You do not find it too warm with me and this heat?” Baljeet inquired. Buford shook his head.

  
“Nah; even if we’re in the middle of the Sahara, I’d never pass up a chance to be close to you if I could.” Buford cooed, brushing back Baljeet’s raven curls. Baljeet felt his heart melt at Buford’s statements. That was one thing Baljeet always admired about his large lover; no matter how intimidating he was towards other people, there was a side of him that only Baljeet got to see, and he absolutely loved the thought of being the only person lucky enough to see it.

  
“God Buford, I love you too.” Baljeet giggled lightheartedly. Buford grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back.

  
“Wait, I didn’t say I loved you, did I?” He questioned. Baljeet smiled and said nothing for a few moments as he brought his lips close to his face.

  
“No, but I figured that that was what you meant by that.” He murmured delicately as he returned his lips to the Dutch boy’s. When the two released, Buford’s face was noticeably pink; a shade only Baljeet could bring out of him.

  
“It’s past midnight, right?” Buford asked his boyfriend.

  
“Yes, much past it.” Baljeet affirmed, his brown eyes shimmering despite the darkness surrounding them.

  
“Good; I didn’t want the first time I told you I loved you to be on Valentine’s Day. That’d be a little too cliché.” He laughed to himself, running his hands affectionately through his hair. Of course the two had told each other they loved each other before that moment, but that was a different type of love. This type of love was something that they had had for a while but had never said aloud for one reason or another. Somehow the desert brought it out of them, and both of them were glad for a moment that such horrible circumstances made for such an amazing revelation within them.

  
“Hey guys, guys?” The walke talkie chimed. Buford and Baljeet broke their intense gaze with one another and directed their attention towards the devices.

  
“Yes Phineas? Did you find something?” Baljeet inquired, his waist being held from behind by his lover.

  
“We did! We thought it was a mirage at first, but then we realised that it’s night and that’s not entirely possible.” Phineas laughed deliriously to himself, “Anyway, go North West on your tracking device to find Isabella and I. You should see our dots indicated there. You guys don’t seem far.” He finished.

  
“What’d you guys find?” Buford wondered, yelling into the walkie talkies.

  
“You’ll see.” Phineas concluded mysteriously. Buford and Baljeet looked at each other with a newfound light and shrugged their shoulders.

  
“Wanna go see what ginger boy and lover girl have to show us?” Buford questioned as he nicknamed their friends. Baljeet laughed in agreeance.

  
“Sure, but my feet are a little tired from walking all this way…” He hinted. Buford took the hint and hoisted him up back to his football hold of his boyfriend, Baljeet laughing all the while.

  
“Damn, if me telling you I love you puts you in such a good mood, maybe I should say it more.” Buford suggested.

  
“I would not mind that at all.” He agreed, placing a kiss on Buford’s cheek. Buford ran with more energy than he’d had in a while in the direction of the illuminated dots, Baljeet holding up the screen for him to see whilst he ran. When they finally arrived, they saw why they summoned them there. It was like a scene straight out of the lion king: waterfalls, lush greenery, tropical flowers, flowing rivers, the sounds of exotic bird chirping happily, and the sweet smell of green grass filling the whole tiny tropical oasis.

  
“Holy shit Phineas!” Buford called out after dropping Baljeet on the ground from the overwhelmingness of the place they found. “I gotta get lost with you guys more often.”

Everyone laughed in relief, well, everyone except Vanessa. The five of them swam in the river, dove under the water fall, and made the most out of the beautiful place they found. When the sun finally began to come up, they all let out a deep sigh as they realised how far they’d come from a situation of total misery to one of the best nights of all their lives. Isabella’s head laid gently on Phneas’s lap, and Ferb held Vanessa’s tense body tightly around his arms with a look of exhaustion on his face. Buford and Baljeet looked at each other longingly, wishing they had come out as a couple to their friends so they could enjoy the sunset in the same way.

  
“God, how the fuck are we ever going to get home? This was honestly such a waste of a Valentine's Day.” Vanessa complained yet again. Baljeet had finally snapped. The Indian boy stood up and looked Vanessa square in the eyes.  
“Do you know what Vanessa Doofenshmirtz? I will say what we have all been wanting to say this entire time; shut the hell up!” Baljeet began. Everyone’s ears were shocked at his words, but no one disagreed, not even Ferb. “You have done nothing but complained this entire time, and all we have done is put up with it! No more. You should consider yourself lucky! You got to spend your Valentine’s Day with your boyfriend shamelessly, enjoying walking together through the desert, watching a sunset, and now had the chance to observe a gorgeous sun rise, but did you take advantage of the situation? No! You chose to complain to everyone about every little thing, and let me just say, it is really pissing me off!” He continued dramatically.

"This whole day has been a series of disappointments after another, yet I have managed to make the best of it. Firstly, I had to lie to my mother and almost blow our cover, then Irving wastes our time with getting his brother out of his own stupid box...thing, and then Phineas came by and asked for my help, which I gave him of course, but look where we ended up? Sure, this is not how I wanted this day to go either, but we managed to make the best of it and everyone here seems to be having a great time except you." He huffed, sitting back down after his drawn out rant. 

"What does Irving's box have to do with you?" Vanessa wondered, leaning over to look at Baljeet.

"Nothing. He asked Buford to help get him out because he was stuck inside it. I would be as useless as Irving in that area." Baljeet explained, Buford's face next to him becoming pale as a ghost. Vanessa raised a sneaky eyebrow their way and smiled smugly. 

"What exactly were you doing with Buford on Valentine's Day then?" She inquired.

Baljeet's brain stopped functioning. It was probably one of the only times in his life he had been lost for words. "I...uh..." He stuttered. Buford rolled his eyes and looked Vanessa square in the face. 

"I think you can figure out what he was doin'. He was comin' with me so we could go on our Valentine's date together, because that's what most couples do on February 14th, isn't it?" He elaborated. With that, he cupped Baljeet's blushing face to his and gave him a long, soft kiss in front of everyone there.

  
"And before anyone says anything, I know it's cliché as hell, so don't remind me." He barked angrily in typical Buford fashion. For a moment, Buford stopped addressing his peer group and turned to look at his boyfriend. "Jeet, I'm sorry I did that, but I figured they should know some day. We shouldn't have to be a secret around our best friends." He whispered into his delicate ear. "It is fine, Buford. I was getting tired of keeping it a secret from everyone as well. And now I do not have to be scared to do this once in a while." He piped up, pecking him on the cheek. 

  
Before getting a chance to observe everyone’s reactions, as though by magic, everyone was transported back to Phineas’s backyard. The sky was black and the crickets sang out. The only sound that could be heard was the sound of a man shouting “Curse you, Perry the Platypus!” in the background.

  
“Now that’s what I call a Deus ex machina.” Ferb said with a smile, approaching the newly “out” couple. “By the way, congratulations, boys. I’ll make sure Vanessa doesn’t say anything to anyone.” Ferb added discreetly at the end, heading into his own home.

  
“Yeah, congrats guys! I mean, it was pretty obvious already.” Isabella told them honestly.

  
“It was?” Baljeet questioned. Isabella nodded.

  
“Yeah, it was. You owe me ten bucks Ferb!” She called out to him before he had a chance to close the screen door.

  
“You guys made bets on us?” Buford asked.

  
“Of course. It wasn’t a matter of if you were a couple, it was a matter of when you’d reveal it. I said before St. Patrick’s Day, so I won.” The Mexican Jewish girl giggled, heading inside behind Ferb. Both of their gazes were directed towards Phineas, the only one left in the yard.

  
“Phineas, are you ok with this?” Baljeet wondered. Phineas let a huge smile cross his face.

  
“Of course I’m ok with it! I’m really happy for you guys. I’m just surprised a bit, but then again, Isabella says I can be pretty oblivious sometimes.” Phineas admitted, the guys not disagreeing with him. “Oh, there you are Perry.” Phineas added after seeing the blue platypus appear from seemingly out of nowhere.

  
“Haven’t heard him say that before.” Buford said sarcastically.

  
Baljeet laughed to himself before making a pun he had been dying to use all night, “Well, you know the drill.”


End file.
